Having both parents involved in their children’s education is vital to the child’s success. If the parents are divorced, the parents and school should make an extra effort to include the father in the child’s education instead of leaving it all up to the mother or other custodial parent.
HOW THE SCHOOL CAN KEEP FATHERS INFORMED
There are many ways the school can act to keep fathers involved in their children’s education— especially if the parents are divorced and the mother is the custodial parent.
Make sure that progress information about the child goes out to both parents.
Invite both parents to school events, such as parent- teacher conferences, science fairs, and other academic events in which the child is involved.
Have a “Bring Your Dad to School Day.” Make it an event, and encourage all fathers to attend. Have a special luncheon, or another way to recognize the fathers’ efforts for attending the event.
Encourage fathers to help their children with their homework assignments, such as checking them over before they’re turned in to the teachers.
Welcome fathers to meet their children’s teachers. Have teachers collect fathers’ information (phone numbers, addresses, etc.) if different from the mothers’.
HOW FATHERS CAN KEEP THEMSELVES INVOLVED
Volunteer to be a sports coach, set designer for a play, or usher for special events. By doing this, you’ll help your child see that you feel that their activities are important.
Take children to the library and encourage them to read rather than play video games or watch TV.
Model the types of behaviors that students need, such as politeness, getting their work done on time, and sharing their belongings with others.
Have family mealtimes. Discuss how the day went and encourage your child to talk about their day at school.
Take time to let your child know how much you enjoy spending time with them, even at school functions.
All children need to be taught self-control, along with the consequences of their actions if they don’t restrain their own desires, impulses, or emotions. Taking a moment to pause and consider their actions is a learned behavior that will help children throughout their lives.
WHY SELF-CONTROL IS IMPORTANT
Learning how to control one’s own impulses allows children to get along better with their classmates, teachers, and parents. Self-control is a skill that will follow children throughout their lives, helping them get along with others and not do the first thing that pops into their heads. Without exhibiting self- control, adults often end up in trouble, or even in jail.
Helping children learn self-discipline by encouraging their good behaviors can also help them learn self-control. Set limits to help them learn self-discipline, such as having a set bedtime and sticking with it. If parents and teachers demonstrate consistency with what they ask children to do, there will be less frustration, because children will know what’s expected of them. Without these expectations, children may not learn self-control skills.
HOW TO TEACH CHILDREN SELF-CONTROL
Self-control is a behavior most children can be taught. There are children who can’t learn this behavior due to disabilities, but most kids do well when they’re taught how to take a moment to think about their actions before reacting to a situation. The best way to teach this behavior is to model it for children.
When a teacher, parent, or other adult becomes frustrated or angry, he or she needs to take a moment before reacting. Instead of yelling, using harsh language, or even physically reacting to a situation, if an adult can show self-control when in a super-charged emotional state, this subsequently demonstrates to children how to react appropriately to volatile situations.
If a teacher or parent sees a situation in which a child may jump to react to something verbally or physically, he or she can help that child by teaching them to breathe deeply and inwardly consider the consequences of their reactions to a situation. Getting children involved with activities that teach self-discipline is also a good way to teach self- control.
● Model self-control in front of your children.
● Set limits and expectations for children to learn self-control.
● Have children get involved with activities that involve self-discipline.
Personal space is important for any individual. Children, however, often don’t have an understanding of the concept, or how uncomfortable people can become when their personal space is “invaded.” As a parent, you can teach them how to respect the personal space of their peers, family members, and other adults in their lives. By stressing the importance of a personal bubble and encouraging a child to respect the space of everyone around them, you’ll be able to ensure they avoid conflict in difficult situations where people feel their personal space is being violated.
CREATING A PERSONAL BUBBLE AROUND YOURSELF
When a child lacks respect for personal space in the middle of a task, employ the “bubble theory.” This means you put up an invisible bubble of a certain size around yourself, and ask your child to respect that space. If your child disagrees at first, make the space farther and farther away. If they continue to resist, send them to their room or use another method of discipline. After a few repeated efforts of this, begin to offer your child small rewards if they respect your space when you ask. A code word when they are becoming too close to others is also important; something familiar, like “personal bubble,” will help your child remember the need for people’s personal space.
REWARDING A CHILD FOR CONTINUALLY RESPECTING OTHERS' SPACE
If you go a long period of time without having to tell your child when to respect the space of others, it’s likely that the message has sunk in enough to become habitual. Reward them for having remembered this behavior, and encourage them to continue practicing it as much as possible while reminding your child that hugs and kisses are still okay.
● The “bubble theory” is a good idea for younger children who always demand attention.
● Children will not always want to be cuddled, but may feel anxiety or
loneliness. In these circumstances, you’ll likely be able to tell which is which and make the right decision on your response.
● By giving children a small-yet-reasonable distance to respect, they’ll feel more comfortable.